Your Visa Has Expired, Go Home!

Foreign tourists:

You are allowed to come visit the United States. However, here are a few pointers to make your visit so much easier, and not piss off other people.

• You are representing, unofficially, your country. Whatever you do will create impressions about how people in your home country live, act, think, etc. For example, the Brazilians and the Latin Americans that visit act like they have no manners. Really, is that how you want the rest of the world to see you?

• You are not the only people here that want to have a good time. There are other visitors that are here to do the same. And the people serving/helping you want to have fun. Your attitude and behavior are the key for ruining it for everyone else.

• Learn a few words of English. We're here to help you, but we can't even begin to help you, unless you make the effort to help us help you. Assuming we can speak your fucking language or can figure it out doesn't help you. If the world expects Americans to be able to do this, then you should too, idiot. Carry a phrase book.

• Don't act like animals. If you cut in front of people, don't be surprised you have to wait or be sent to the end of the line. Don't be rude to your fellow tourists or the people that are trying to help you.

• If there's a lot of people in a busy shop/restaurant/location, don't hog the space. You have to share that space with the umpteen million people that are trying to use that space too.

• We hate it when you use "Don't speak English" as an excuse to get away with anything. Fuck you for thinking we are that stupid.

• There's a Chinese saying that is used as an insult: Ah ma mm mo ga gau lei. Your mother didn't teach you right. Just because you're a tourist, doesn't mean you don't have manners.

• Don't pay your entire bill in CHANGE. That is considered rude, and a sign you didn't like your service. If you have that much change, then use a change machine, or try to get rid of it when as you go, and not dump it on some unsuspecting person. It's a bitch to count those coins by fucking hand, you stupid moron.

• Use your head and common sense. Learn to understand why we do things the way we do. Again, if my fellow Americans and I have to accept that things are the way they are where ever we travel, then you have to do the same.

With that being said, welcome to America, and I hope you enjoy your stay.