How to ruin a perfectly good friendship/relationship

This is what one can do to make me either:  a)  distance myself from them and/or b)  quietly end the friendship.

Yes I do judge people by how they treat me and the people around me, strangers, and those who are service employees.  I do expect respect, courtesy, and if it escalates, taken aside for discussion.  I know I have a temper, but I stop before I explode and start working behind the scenes to get it corrected, as I have mastered letter/email writing and phone calling.  In the US, I do not appreciate scenes.  Overseas, it may be a different story depending on the situation.

What I find repugnant is people that feel the need to act pretentious.  It's so affected and fake, especially around service employees, because it turns into a power game.  I have a friend that does that all the time with others, but alone with me, he drops the act.  It makes the individual look stupid by pretending they are something they are not.  It is like this friend has become the person that, 20 years ago, complained about.  And that is sad, because it proves to me, that my friend hasn't grown up, and he's roughly the same age as me.

Respect me, and my life decisions.  I may have made some stupid mistakes, and I bitch about them, however, I stand by them for specific reasons.  Don't judge me, just be my friend, and shut up and listen.  I may need to vent or express something.  Don't offer advice to me, unless I ask for it, as I prefer to listen to my own counsel.  There are people I don't talk to about anything, because they just can't shut up and listen, and always have an opinion about what I should be doing.  I'm bad at that too, but I'm working on listening and asking questions as a way to help the other person understand their situation.

I am no one's dog.  I am my own person.  I have my life, responsibilities, duties, etc. apart from you.  We have evolved differently and are on two different paths and worldviews now.  In life, the nature of the friendship can and often does change.  To a dear friend, please accept that, because our friendship is evolving as we speak.  And please don't assume I will be there when we grow old, I will probably go before you, given my family's health history.

Professionally, I do not appreciate being constantly discounted or devalued, nor do I appreciate lack of transparency and respect for me as a person to not approach me directly.  Can't talk to me?  Don't go to the boss, where the message will be diluted, if it's ever discussed.  Find a non-direct way to tell me I have offended you.  I also don't really like people that go around my back and undermine me and my efforts, however well intentioned.  I despise those who can't treat their co-workers with respect and dignity.  A former manager who sold me down the river because I declined a promotion over pay, has lost my total respect and admiration.

I've just voiced a number things that can make me sever or distance from the friendship/relationship.  If it applies to you, it actually does.  If it doesn't, it doesn't.  Please heed this as a warning.