Never do this to a perspective employer

Subject:  Intern
 
My name is (name deleted) I’m a student at UCF. I’m working on my bachelor’s degree. My major is cinema studies. I’m available Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. My resume is below....

(What follows is a list of work experience that has nothing to do with what I do.)

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My response:

Dear (name deleted)

We have received your resume.  After reviewing it, a few questions come to mind:

What do you know about us?
Have you done any research about what we do?
How do your skills apply to what we do?
What have you done in the industry?
Why are you interested in what we do?
Why do you want to learn what we do?
What are your proficiencies in what we do?
Where are you at in your professional development/training/

education?
How will this help you in pursuing your art/craft?

Frankly, after reading this, I'm glad that you can work with children, first aid certified, have an AA from (school deleted) and have applicable computer skills, you have not told us why we would be a good fit.  Nor have you told us what you can bring to our organization, or even, apply your work experience, education and knowledge to what we do.  It looks like you just saw the word internship on our website, and sent us a letter of interest with experiences that have NOTHING to do with Special Effects, without showing the respect to the person reading this.  By sending a 'blanket' letter of interest and a general resume, it comes across like you don't care.  Which means, we don't either. 
 
Should you be embarrassed by what you have submitted to us?  Yup.

Consider yourself extremely lucky, that we took the time to respond to this, as most people would be so offended and enraged by the lack of professional consideration, this would end up in trash, literally and figuratively.  However, we believe in helping fellow artists, to help them elevate themselves to higher standards, so we offer a few words.
Advice to save you from further professional embarrassment:
Do your research.  You need to tailor whatever you submit to them.
Tie your experiences into how they can be used in their business.
We don't care about your work experience.  We care about the experience in the industry.  A list of credits of what you've done AND a website or a comp sheet that displays your work goes a long way to demonstrate skills and committment.
Tell the perspective company these things:  why you want to work with them, what you can offer,  how your experiences can help them, AND where you're at in your professional development and education. 

You have to sell yourself and your professional skills very quickly, regardless of how you contact someone -- the first paragraph of an email or letter.  Or we don't care, and the resume ends up in the trash or deleted.
 
We are not mad at you.  We are appalled that prospective interns, such as yourself, have demonstrated lack of professionalism by committing some serious job/internship hunting sins.

We wish you many successes in your internship search.  We hope that this diatribe helps you be more focused, precise, and professional to others that you will be submitting to, as not to waste their time, as you have ours.
 
No response is required or necessary. 

Very Truly Yours,
Me