To the dude at WaWa that tried to make me smile

I do actually appreciate a smile or friendly banter from a stranger most of the time. Except for today, when my mind is so garbled and all over the place I have to concentrate on the task at hand so I'm not really not seeking additional interaction from anyone's peanut gallery. 

I am actually a happy person, though the events and drama of the last four months have made it challenging.  I have my good days and my bad days.  Moments of light and lots of moments of darkness.  So, dude, you have no idea.  I hadn't bothered to tell you about my terminal illness and how it affects my attention span, concentration, and it forces me to conserve energy so I can do important tasks, like work,  because frankly, it is none of your damn business, and I don't like playing the sympathy card, regardless of the reasons.

I don't appreciate being stalked at WaWa from register to gas pump by someone wanting to interact and being chased down the road for two miles, even to tell me in my rush of trying to evade this stranger, that I forgot to put my gas cap back on. I waited till I was no longer being followed by this moron to pull over and reinstall my gas cap, as I didn't want to risk additional drama.

When I ignored you, you should have taken the hint.  When I told you that you needed to back off and how you were being totally disrespectful, you started to swear at me.  You needed to be more perceptive of people's needs and frame of mind.

Sorry dude, you crossed the line, but someday, this will make a funny story about:  how good intentions can backfire AND how to read people -- particularly strangers -- in order not to offend them.

I'm back....

After two months in the hospital, a couple of months getting my bearings back in place, and a whole lot of drama in between.

Being diagnosed with a terminal illness unexpectedly changes one's outlook on things.  I am told I will live a normal life once things are under control, but one never really knows where life will lead them.

After losing 65 pounds, not knowing whether or not my days were really numbered, and trying to get the help and support I needed to get through the first couple of months, it has taken its toll.  I am feeling better day by day.  My appetite has returned.  I am starting to work out with stretch bands to regain my strength so I can start going back to the gym.  I went from a size 36-38 to a size 32-34, and trying to decide if I need to buy new pants and shorts, because I will gain some of the weight back, but not quite sure how much.  The meds have rendered me a total space cadet with major ADHD issues, running to the toilet, and at times, a major cranky grouch as side effects.  So I still have good and bad days.

But it's day by day.  Trying to be grateful for what I have, the time I have, the people who love me and support me, and what I have to offer the world.  As time goes on, I'll share progress and obstacles.

The next post will be an anecdote about something really messed up but does make a sick and twisted humorous story.